12 by 2012 updates!

Ok, so since starting this list, i've become totaly unfocused and Logan has been teething on and off making it very difficult to get things done. Some projects have also hinged on other people being able to help out. However there is a plus side, I have managed to get a few done. Those that have been completed I am happy with.

* Organise Kitchen - COMPLETED!! and staying tidy yay.
* Organise Lounge - COMPLETED!! - It is now a tidy and safe place for Logan to crawl and play.
* Declutter Bedroom- COMPLETED!! Its much tidier and manageable. Yes theres a basket of laundry in the corner but it is at least folded and tidy, ready to be put away.
* Bedroom wall art. Done and looking gorgeous. Three abstract pieces above the bed, I will upload photos at some stage but via my other pc.
* Read 10 books: Well this was abitious as I usually end up choosing rather large books. Stay tuned for the post about the specific books I've read. ( i managed 3 )
* Finish Logans Room: The only thing that needs doing is really getting the old sofa bed out and rearanging the room to work better space wise. Sofa will be gone after xmas/ in the new year when my friend is back home from visiting her parents and able to organise a trailer etc.
* Finish Wooden Cabinet: again hinges on a friends help, with his new job and it being shift based it has been hard to get days where both he and my partner are available. Looks like new years for that one.
*Baby proof house: 90% completed, just have one last baby gate to install and we'll be done
*Finish all craft projects I've started: Well really there were only four to be done and each one has needed a longer chunk of time than I've been able to get, but this was more of a if i get to it idea. So not to fussed.
* Sell excess stuff: In progres.
*Donate unwanted items to charities: In progress, currently filling a box to take to the opshops.

So all though I havent completed all of them and am unlikely to do so in the last two weeks of the year, I have completed or almost finished my most important ones on the list. I can sit back and enjoy christmas with my family, the first as a mum!

THANKS!

I Just want to say a big thank you to all those who have read my blog, seen how I've been feeling and extended their hands of love, support and friendship. You all know who you are but here's a shout out to a special few:

SHOUT OUTS!!!

To Waikura, thank you for your comments on my facebook page, and for making tea and bringing it around tonight. Even after all the crap you guys are going through with hubby being sick you still managed to find the space to help me out. It means alot!

To my beautiful Mummy, for coming coming over for lunch today, for emailing me the link with a list of the local play groups. All of which appear to be in walking distance! And most of all Mum, thank you for being you. for being there for me throughout my life even if i didn't realise i needed you. Thank you. xx

To Ian and Robyn, for calling Daniel this morning to make sure that I and we were OK. We are better than ever but your concern was sweet and appreciated.

But most of all a big thank you to you Daniel.

Thank you for being the most amazing fiance a girl could want. For just listening and cuddling me while i vented and cried the other night, for at the end kissing my forhead, saying you loved me and vowing to help. For loving me and for making me smile even when i feel at my worst. But mostly thank you Daniel for being you. For being the kind, caring, funny person that you have always been. I love you and I love our life together with our son. Thanks for being there and being supportive of me in everything that I do.

and Logan, my darling little boy, thank yu for just being you. Your laugh is addictive.

Thank you everyone and just so you all know... I am feeling alot better and thnigs are good. :)

Moving forward

So having vented on this little space of mine, my lovely friend Holly read it and texted to let me know that even though she lives a little out of the way for me to get there on my own she's there for me.

Thankyou my dear friend. It helps to know someone else is there. Since that text I've been brave and bit the bullet so to speak. I began searching for a local coffe group. I didn't find a heck of alot but I did find a group that i might be able to get to occaisionally in porirua. we'll see how it goes.

While talking to my neighbour simon today he gave me an idea to try and start on myself. Specifically for Paraparaumu. He, like me, is not keen to host a coffee group in his own home so we figured that we pick a few cafe's. For instance, the library, beach or mall and use them as a meeting place for parents. Less presure that way. So I'm going to make a poster and pop it up at the library to start off with. I've yet to figure out what i'll put on the poster. but its a start. Any one reading this got any ideas?

Here's to moving forward and find a parents group that will work for me. *clink*

Loneliness

Thanks to living in an area away from close friends lonliness has started creeping in. My best friend Lauren lives in England. I havent actualy seen her face to fave since my Dad passed in 2008. I miss her so much.

A couple of my friends have babies a little younger than my Logan. He's 8 1/2 months their daughters are nearly 4months. One lives over in the Hutt Valley and the other in Reikorangi. Neither of which are accessible via public transport and as I dont drive thats not a good thing.

The rest of my friends don't have kids and live nearer Wellington or are expecting in March but still live nearer Wellington than I do.

I've started looking into wether or not there are mums groups in my area but I'm not really having much luck in that regard. Not being able to drive is really starting to have an impact on my social life.

Yes my neighbours to the front of our place have a son the same age as Logan, but they allways seem to be busy doing things.

Yes I could go visit my parents but to be honest as much as i love them, and i really do, they just dont give me the same company as my friends do.

I've been trying to organise a game evening with friends to play Munchkin (check out steve jackson games....tis a highly addictive game) but even that doesnt seem like its going to be happening any time soon.

This lonliness is really starting to get me down and I dont know what to do, I dont feel like there's anyone to turn to. Everyone seems so busy living their own lives and I feel lost. The last few weeks my partner has taken to coming home, cooking tea and then playing games on the consoles. Which is fine really as I'm a gamer too, I just wish he'd play something i could join in with. I've tried telling him, but I don't think he or anyone I know has even realised quite how alone I feel.

The only beings in my life I feel are aware of me right now are my cat 'knuckles' and my son.

I live in hope that one day soon someone will notice that I'm not just complaining, but seeking help and support. Please. Anyone?

12 by 2012

So here is my list of 12 by 2012, its a mix of things needed to be done around the house and things to do for myself. To keep my personal sanity as such.

1:Organise Kitchen
2:Declutter bedroom
3:finsh all craft projects i've started
4:baby proof house
5:donate unwanted item to charities
6:Organise Lounge
7:sell excess stuff
8:Finish Logans Room
9:Red 10 books
10:Bedroom Wall Art
11:Sort Craft Stuff
12:Finish Wooden Cabinet

Some of these things may not get done due to time contraints. But hey its worth a shot right?!

The inconvienance of stones

Just after my son Logan was born I developed problems with my Gallbladder. We found this out after a couple of visits to the doctors complaining of severe back pain. At first it felt like an asthma attack, and as I hadn't had a very bad one of those in a couple of years it was very difficult to tell the difference.

So the Doc started by giving me stronger pain relief that i could still take whilst breastfeeding my then 2month old son. Then just a week or so later i was woken at 2am with the same back pains... only this time it didn't stop. Not after pain relief or a hot shower which in previous instances had soothed it all. One such instance my Mother had been there, having had her Gallbladder removed a few years before she raised suspicions that it may be the cause of my pain.

So by 3am i was starting to panic as the pain had been getting steadily worse. I shook my fiance awake and we called the ambulance. As soon as we mentioned to the paramedics our suspicions of gallstones, they decided it was a trip to Wellington hospital time. While the paramedics called ahead to see if i could be adminstered morphine (i was still exclusively breastfeeding), my partner had to get our son from his cot and into the car seat. A task our son was most unhappy about.

Finally we arrived, I'd had morphine but could still feel the pain, more of a dull ache now though. Yes gallstones are that painfull! The docs kept me and bubs in for a couple of days to monitior the stones. I was put on a fat free diet (when they finally let me have food at about 6pm). A fat free diet in hospital is utterly rank. Never again, please.

After months of fat free eating (no chocolate allowed :( ) and an ERCP to check I didn't have any stones stuck in my bile ducts, I finally had a date for the surgery. So back in october my wonderfull doctor MR Aljanabi removed my gallblader via laprascopic cholesectomy (keyhole) and sent me home the next day with a small pot containing my stones. 19. yes 19 little stones. Evil little blighters that they are.

Then began the recovery, 4weeks without heavy lifting. sounds easy right? Not when you have a 6month old son who weighs more than your 5kg lifting limit. I spent the first week with fiance helping me do all the little things, like changing nappies or clothes even breastfeeding. We visited family in Napier for some much needed R&R. The next 3weeks were spent getting up early and going to either my mums, father in laws or a friends house, so they could help me look after my son.

Needless to say i did not cope very well emotionally with not being able to look after him alone. Yes i knew the recovery of my abdominal wall was of utmost importance or i'd risk ripping stitches etc, but nothing prepared me for how horrible i felt not being able to carry my baby around the room when he was crying. For those few weeks I was frustrated and inseccure about my abillity to be a good mum to him. It was hard.

Two months later, the Doc has given me the all clear. Gallbladder upheaval is over. Never to be a problem again. Here's to a low fat diet for the rest of my life. :D On the plus side to the whole situation, the fat free diet whilst still exclusively breastfeeding my son did lead to loosing 9kgs. All baby weight gone...another 10kgs to go to get to my ideal weight. I can do this...i think.

post the first

Ok, so I have decided to keep a blog. We shall see how this goes. I'm one of those people who says they'll write a diary but never remembers to write anything in it. Seriously i have notebooks all over the house with maybe a couple of days worth of diary jotted down then i forget and oh crap.... its months later and my notebook is filled with nothing but blank pages.

Usually those blank pages end up getting used for various snippits of the novel that isnt. The novel is fully formed in my head, its just the getting it down on paper or into the computer thats hard!! So notebooks certainly aren't wasted.

My most recent page filled notebook is sitting open on the table at a page titled "12 by 2012" the idea was inspired by a blog post my good friend showed me. http://www.ohhellofriendblog.com/2011/10/twelve-by-2012.html
Afterwards my friend http://thornecreations.blogspot.com/2011/11/where-to-start.html and i dedcided we'd give it a go together. so here we are. I'll be keeping track of the progress of my list here.

wish us luck!!