OK, so i haven't posted in ages. i know I'm shocking. here's an overview of the year I've had. I've been crafting like crazy crocheting things from little hats right up to big warm snugly winter cardies for me. Family dramas, surprise pregnancy, stress induced pre-eclampsia resulting in an emergency c-section at 35weeks 5days.
When Logan was 10months i fell pregnant with our second baby. He was still breastfeeding at the time but began to bite when my milk changed. Nothing stopped him,nothing at all. It was excruciating. after about a month of this constant biting at every frigging feed I'd had enough, i was considering giving up breastfeeding but i felt so guilty that i kept trying even with the pain.
it was at this point that i started getting what i thought was a tummy bug, we went to the doctor after a few days of illness. Nope not food poisoning or a tummy bug...more like morning sickness! Doc was surprised, we were shocked. "I'm still breastfeeding, on the pill and my cycles haven't started again! I can't be pregnant" I said. The doctor responded by saying "well you must be a very fertile couple then!" So off we went for blood tests and an ultrasound. Sure enough i was 7weeks along.
The next few months passed smoothly, baby grew well. Nothing amis. Well maybe a little hip pain here and there but nothing my midwife was concerned about. She knew me well as she was there for me with my first.
Then at 35weeks pregnant i had an argument with my neighbour over his music. It was so loud in my house that little Logan was holding his hands to his ears and crying. I couldn't hear the radio let alone myself speak. After asking the neighbour to turn it down, he did..for two minns. So after another 10minns of this loud music i had a full blown migraine. Put my boy down for a nap and went outside to ask the neighbour again to turn it down. Ok so i yelled at him to, and swore a little. I was fed up, i was tired myself and in pain. His response was to jump up on the fence and scream at me..alot. Alot of nasty things, i back up and he kept yelling. the words I'll never forget... "I'll F***ing jump over there and beat you up, I'll f***ing kill you" I went inside and rang the police. They came he was arrested and going to be charged. End of story i thought.
Three days later i had my 35week ultrasound, just a routine check up. Seemed to go fine, sonographer commented that baby was small but when told our son was only 6lb5oz at full term when he was born she said nothing more. That afternoon i get a call from my midwife. You have to go into hospital for accute assessment she tells me. Blood flow from placenta to baby isn't as good as it should be, baby is ok but we need to get you checked out just in case.
"Worst case scenario you'll be having the baby early, this weekend. Best case will be in two weeks. You wont be going to term with this baby."
That was the one thing i didn't want to hear. Turns out I had pre-eclampsia, we caught it in time. It could have been sooo much worse. That Friday morning my beautiful Aurora was born, all 1740grams of her. I gave her a kiss from where i lay being stitched up, and she was whisked off to NICU . I didn't even get to hold her first. I felt like all control of having a baby had been taken away from me, all thanks to the stress because of my damned neighbour.
I got to see her later that day, hooked up to monitors in an incubator, iv line and nasal gastric tube all there. It was terrifying.
10 days later she was starting to gain weight and attempting breastfeeds twice a day, we were traveling an hour each way to the hospital. I had to commute to see either of my children. Honestly i was a mess, crying over silly things. like when i let my coffee go cold. That day she was transfered from Wellington NICU to Hutt SCBU, she no longer needed intensive care. just monitoring and learning to feed.
We spent three weeks at Hutt Hospital, her neighbours Mum and I talked alot. He was early too, a week earlier than she was. Finally she came off the monitors and i sent the night in the hospital with her in my room, wireless. It was funny, I was texting my family saying "She's Wi-Fi, shes finally Wi-Fi" The next day she came home.
That was nearly four weeks ago. Now we're all home, and things are getting back to normal. She's still tiny, not even 3kgs yet and she's 8weeks old. Her brother adores her, he likes to give her a kiss and tries to share his toys.
My fiance and my crochet have been my life line during the time in hospital. Without them I'd have been even more of a mess.
He kept my smiling and made me focus on the positives. We set little goals for Aurora to reach, like wearing clothes for the first time, weighing 2kgs, having a normal cot rather than a heated one. Coming home. We reached those goals and it got easier. the day we drove home i could stop smiling, my cheeks were hurting.
over the last couple of months I've crocheted little blankets for her and her little neighbour. This morning i finished a shrug for me. I call it "spring splash"
I love my little family. My amazing Fiance Daniel and our beautiful children Logan and Aurora. We are happy, peaceful but best of all...each and every one of us is healthy.
Our preemie baby experience has been emotional. In comparison to other preemie stories, its been a doddle. To all those families out there dealing with having a preemie, good luck to you. I hope you get to take your wee one home happy and healthy soon. To all the mums, this doesn't mean you've failed as a mum, its just a little hurdle. You'll jump over it, you are an amazing Mum. You ARE!
To all the Dads, you are amazing too, you're holding her hand and your childs. To all the parents of preemies..you are amazing.
To all the staff at Wellington NICU and Hutt SCBU, thank you. Especially Nurse Gemma at Hutt SCBU, you are one awesome nurse.
To my midwife Grada, you're a wonderful woman, thank you for helping me bring two gorgeous babies into the world.
To every single person who has been there for us the last few months. Thank you for everything. from the little things like being the first person to see me after the birth ( Catherine was there at about 10 past 10 Saturday morning :D ) and just texting normal conversations to big things like giving us petrol money and looking after Logan. I want to give a special shout out to Logan's Nanna Robyn for looking after Logan for the majority of our time in hospital. Thanks to all of you, you know who you are. With out you we would have been alot more stressed than we were.